Ministry of Silly Satanists – A List

1. The Wicker Man

Naked, singing Satanists forming circles are undisputable alltime classics.



2. Rosemary´s Baby

Polanski developed the default setting for silly Satanists. You need some babbling old ladies, a corrupt John Cassavetes and Japanese guy with a camera can´t hurt. Satanists drink tea, what else?


3. Kill List

Very professional and extremely evil  Satanists with a great logo and a sense for the dramatic ritual.


4. Night of the Demon

The satanic sorcerer in THENIGHT OF THE DEMON has a wicked beard. He also occasionally poses as a magic clown, he can cause shitty weather and conjure a seriously evil demon. He also loves his mother. What more do you want?


5. The Sentinel

What could be better than having tea with a pair of undead lesbian Satanists in red and black aerobic suits? Not much, except maybe a party with more half-dead undead Satanists. THE SENTINEL delivers on all these counts.


6. The Last Exorcism

The best thing about the satanists at the end of THE LAST EXORCISM is that they are posing as fundamentalist evangelical Christians, who, as everyone knows, are the true Satanists.


7. Wake Wood

It is not even totally sure that the Satanists in WAKE WOOD are Satanists. They perform rituals, they raise the dead, but they really only mean well. Timothy Spall as the good country horse doctor/grandmaster of the netherworld is scary enough to put him in competition with anybody else who ever tried to raise hell.


8. The irrefutable Truth about Demons

The Head of the Satanist cult looks exactly like the Satanist in Daniel Clowes graphic novel GHOST WORLD, who looks very much like Anton La Vey. He can tear out living hearts with his bare hands, conjure a bunch of CGI-powered ant-like demons and has a group of cliché-punk followers.


9. House of the Devil

A slow talking, slightly depressed Satanist who may actually just be looking for a babysitter. He does try a simple virgin sacrifice in the end of this lengthy offering, though.


10. Hot Fuzz

Inspired by the Kinks´ Song “The Village Green Preservation Society”, the Satanists in this buddy movie have great style and kill extremely effectively. Who doesn´t hate living statues?


Honorable Menition: Ghost World

Enid and Rebecca spotting Satanists in Retro-Diners is one the all-time greatest scenes in graphic novels. And they sure know how to spot their subjects. Special feature: umbrellas.

ghost world


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s